“Focusing on your fear is selfish. Instead, focus on the good that will come when you walk through it.”
You are terrified of being selfish. You lug around guilt, mommy martyrdom, and shame for being a human with needs. You feel terrible for letting your kids watch too much TV or eat cereal for dinner when you need a break. You compare yourself to every mother out there and chronicle all the ways you don’t measure up….and then you beat yourself up for not being better. You’re terrified of giving yourself what you need, taking a break, accepting help, or spending money on yourself.
This is not selfishness. This is having a self. It’s not bad, it’s required.
But you know what isn’t required? You know what is actually selfish?
Being so worried about your own need to be liked, approved of, always comfortable, perfect, or good at everything that you refuse to show up for your life in any real way.
It’s the real reason you feel unfulfilled, invisible, without purpose, and disconnected from life.
You are more worried about being liked, accepted, and comfortable…more worried about your self, than you are about the world that desperately needs you to get over yourself and show the fuck up, ready or not.
Our fragile egos, lack of self worth, and fear of being imperfect is not only robbing the world of our presence and gifts, it’s keeping us from the lives we were made to live…from the joy and sense of purpose that is our birthright. There are no extra humans. You are here for a reason, but you are too busy worrying about all the wrong things to have any time or energy left to figure it out what it is.
If women cared half as much about fixing our broken world as they do about fixing their stretch. marks, our world would be a radically different place.
This last week has been a major wake up call and the hard truth is, if you aren’t upset you either aren’t paying attention or you’re refusing to listen. It’s okay to be unsure of what to think right now. It’s okay to process what is happening. It’s okay to be uncomfortable with the conversations, accusations, realizations, and information that may or not be new to you.
What is not okay is continuing to look the other way
Glennon Doyle says to follow your heart break to find your purpose. What breaks your heart won’t necessarily break my heart. What sets my heart on fire will not necessarily set your heart on fire. The key is to listen, honor, and follow your flaming heart wherever it leads you, even if it’s scary, even if it feels like you can’t take it, even if you’re worried what others will think. Even if.
You were made for big, important, powerful work in this world. We all are. Whether that’s on a stage in front of millions or just in front of your family, you’re here for a reason. You matter.
The world needs you.
The world needs your voice.
The world needs your heart, your passion, your unique gifts. And every second you waste telling yourself you’re aren’t good enough, you might get judged, you can’t do it, or doubting the calls of your heart, is another second away from the important work you could be doing in the world.
Maybe it’s activism, maybe it’s staring a business, creating something you love, or just being a powerful example for the tiny humans in your home.
We need you to love yourself, to show up for yourself, to know your worth, to make some noise, and to make a difference.
We need you to set aside your own selfish fears and be the damn woman you were always meant to be, ready or not.
Who would you serve if you followed your broken heart?
What would you do if you started before you felt ready?
Where would you go if you let your passion lead you?
What would you say if you weren’t afraid of upsetting others?
And where are all the places you are not showing up fully for you, for your beliefs, for your dreams, and for your one wild and precious life?