I'm finally the mom I want to be (most days anyways). I knew I wasn't living up to my potential. I knew I was made for more. I knew life felt harder than it needed to be. For years...YEARS, thoughts like "is this all there is?" and "there has to be more" tugged at my heart.
You feel it too don't you? You know exactly what I'm talking about.
I spent so many years fighting against the current of my life instead of letting it carry me where I was meant to go. I couldn't become the woman I wanted to be while clinging to the mother I thought I should be. I couldn't find balance until I learned to let go of other's expectations, my suffocating guilt, and all the rules about what it meant to be a "good" mom.
I know how hard it is
I know what it's like to want so much more, but finding time to solve yet another problem feels like adding more to your already full plate. There is literally always something (or someone) screaming to be handled.right.now. How can you pause life long enough to even think about change? Where will you find time you don’t have to make more time for what you desperately need?
But momma, your best life does not begin, someday, out there, but today, in the middle of your messy life, in your messy kitchen, where you are right now. Just surviving is no way to live.
A Little More About Me
I'm a Midwestern, brown eyed girl, raising babies in a sleepy Midwestern town in the the heart of corn country.
I'm a planner and dreamer, which is good because dreaming is the first step of planning after all. I spend most of my days cleaning the kitchen, picking up dirty socks, breaking up sibling squabbles, cursing under my breath, hauling groceries or laundry, and blasting the Trolls' soundtrack while carting kids around. I am in constant motion yet never seem to accomplish anything...ever. This makes me crazy. I'm uptight and orderly....my days chaotic and messy. I'm doing my best to lighten the hell up, give up my controlling tendencies, and be more present and patient. Let's just say I'm a work in progress.
I love photography, cooking, weight lifting, travel (particularly road trips), spaghetti, the great outdoors, Brandi Carlile, summer nights, bonfires, and the sounds of silence. I'm a news and politics junkie with very strong opinions. I believe in girl power, honesty and vulnerability, and the power of sisterhood. I hope to someday be as strong, fierce, and unrelenting as my 4 year old daughter. Her mantra, "I do what I want!" are words to live by ladies.
I cannot consume books fast enough and am obsessed with personal development. I recommend audio books on 2.5x speed while folding laundry and doing dishes.
I love satire and sarcasm, biting wit, and smart people.
Bad words, good bourbon, and strong coffee keep me going.
My kids make me crazy, keep me grounded, and are my reason for getting out of bed in the morning...literally, they never sleep.
Motherhood is harder than I ever imagined, but it's taught me I'm hell of a lot stronger than I thought. I've cried, messed up, struggled, failed, and grown more in these last 10 years than I have the proceeding 25. I like who I am becoming.
I am becoming wiser.
I am letting go of beliefs that don't serve me.
I'm learning what really matters.
I'm learning I am enough.
And you are too. I'm so glad you're here. Motherhood is tough, we've got to stick together.