I spent years totally consumed by the demands of motherhood. Every day was spent in survival mode, running from one thing to the next, taking care of everyone and everything and feeling left out of my own life. Every day was the same. I never stopped moving but I never seemed to get ahead.
My time was not my own. My thoughts were not my own. My to do list was certainly not my own. And while I loved being a mom, I didn’t love motherhood, not the way I thought I should. I was tired of feeling so invisible in my own life. I was tired of feeling guilty for wanting more. I was tired of a “good day” ending in a heap on the couch, mindlessly scrolling social media and drinking cheap wine.
I know how painful it is to feel unsure of who you actually are outside of the roles you fill, to feel that your value is connected to how well you take care of everyone, and therefore taking care of everyone else feels like your most important job.
I know what it’s like to battle your inner critic constantly, the one who tells you to do more, give more, and never slow down.
I know how confusing, disheartening, and isolating it feels when you’re unfulfilled in your “great on paper” life.
I’ve battled the guilt that comes when you get everything you thought you wanted but it’s not enough and you have no clue what you actually want next, how to figure it out, or where to begin.
I know what it’s like to want more.
What I know now, that I didn't know then, is that all my frustration, overwhelm, and restlessness had little to do with motherhood and everything to do with the fact that I had no idea who I actually was or what I actually wanted.
I thought I wanted to be a mother (and I did), but I didn’t realize I wanted so much more than that.
You cannot achieve your best life if you don’t even know what it is.
You won’t be fulfilled and truly happy until you know what really truly lights you up.
You will never become the mom you want to be, while sacrificing the woman you are.
You feel invisible in your own life because YOU aren’t even seeing yourself. You’ve ignored your desires, denied your feelings, and pushed yourself to the back burner for far too long.
All the change you crave begins by reconnecting with who you actually are (not who you think you should be). She has all the answers but you’ve forgotten how to listen to her.