Vol.1 No.2: Perimenopause, Anxiety, and. Feeling Lost
Hey momma!
I had planned to write a saucy newsletter today talking all about my new obsession with the show Sex Life on Netflix (not just because it's steamy but because it's shows what happens when we follow the "good girl" path and lose ourselves). I had so many thoughts and takeaways and things to share and I'll probably write that message eventually.
But, I was gripped with anxiety today. Feeling afraid and doubtful. Consumed with intrusive thoughts, worrying about things I've never worried about in my life (hello low estrogen right before my period that I'm working to regulate but is still wonky).
I couldn't bring myself to write what I had planned so instead I'm writing this.
Life can be a mutha-fucker, whether it's hormones, stress, anxiety, depression, a challenge at home or work...there is SHIT that comes our way on the regular.
The "good girl" in me used to take it personally, wondering why "bad" things were happening. Feeling like it wasn't fair or that I must be the reason why. Perhaps if I was BETTER, life wouldn't be punishing me or if I thought happier thoughts, I wouldn't manifet the unwanted.
This is all the good girl conditioning running so damn deep that regular human experiences like illness, set-back, or perimenopause we make it OUR FAULT.
This is because we believe that if we're "good enough" we will protect ourselves from pain. And that couldn't be further from the truth.
All it has done is taught us to feel bad about ourselves and fight against what is instead of learning how to hold & lead ourselves confidently through life's inevitable ups and downs.
Wait what?
>> If you think being "good" or "getting it right" will protect you from pain, you're gonna spend most of your life feeling bad about yourself and trying to figure out what you're doing wrong (while missing out on your life now but also missing the lessons & opportunities for healing and growth that exist within pain)
WTF?
>> We've taken radical responsibility too far. We blame ourselves for everything. We're promised no suffering if we're "good" so we see struggle as a sign we are "bad" and this shit must stop.
You're going to have days that don't make sense. Days where your world comes crashing down and there is NOTHING you could have done to prevent it. There will be so many moments that feel unfair or disappointing.
What if instead of them being evidence that you're doing something wrong you saw them as the divine gift they actually are?
What if instead of trying to fix and control everything, you accepted everything with open arms (EVEN the shit you don't want)?
What if you believed EVERYTHING is happening for you (not to you)?
THIS is power babe. Being able to dance with life and make decisions from our highest, most connected self (instead of the fearful little girl who is worried about pleasing God or her husband, everyone but herself).
What now?
>> When they taught us to be "good" they weakened us. It's a distraction to keep you busy and worrying instead of building a stronger sense of self.
You know what makes a strong woman? You know how to navigate pain and anxiety and disappointment and failure?
It's NOT by trying to control everything (as I know you are great at)...it's by ACCEPTING everything and letting life lead.
It's by SURRENDURING and TRUSTING and knowing the difference between inspired, aligned action and letting go.
It's finding the opportunity and the wisdom in the unwanted and seeing it as a part of a full, human experience.
It's know who the fuck YOU REALLY ARE and not letting any circumstances happening around and to you become a reason to question yourself.
It's being UNCONDITIONALLY who you are, regardless.
It's being FREE over good and continuing to love, lead, & honor yourself even when shit isn't going your way.
THIS is your path forward.
Where are you judging and criticizing yourself and believing you need to be "better" or where are you trying to fix something that might not be a problem after all?
Wanna keep the revolution momentum going? Make sure to join my free FB Community where we're talking all day every day about HOW to fuck the rules & write your own.
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